Needing You Forever
by beachesandstars6
Summary: This is a Sean and Emma fic. During and the aftermath of the shooting. This is my first fan fic ever so please review it would be helpful. Its PG-13 to be safe and for future chapters.
1. Chap 1

Needing You Forever

Its my first story. Much to my dismay I don't own any of these characters they all are someone elses ideas. I'm just playing with them.

Spoilers for Time Stands Still and Back inBlack(nextchapter)

As I am laying next to you. I am content with my life finally even after what has happened over the past year or so. Nothing can get me down. I am much better than when you re-entered my life . I was young and severely depressed and couldn't wait to get out of my hell hole of a life. I needed an escape from everything including myself no matter what I did it seemed to only get worse. When illness started to break apart my family I was in denial for a while, then it hit me like a ton of bricks. My world was slowly slipping away from me, out of my grasp and spiraling out of control. I couldn't even stop it . I was so powerless in that situation nothing I could do to really change it . It triggered me to be more subdued and I was more observant than I had been in the past. I stepped back and watched my peers interact with each other. I watched them fight over petty things. I withdrew myself from my world and almost seemed to watch from another place. I put up a front nobody knew what was really going on in my head what was going on with me. I smiled and pretended to be strong I would grin and bear it nobody noticed it really then again I wouldn't let them. I didn't want anyone to know about the bigger conflict I was having with myself everyday sometimes every minute. I was waiting for the first domino to fall and trigger the rest that were so delicately in the balance.

Then one day it happened, he changed my life. I was so scared I couldn't move at all. I never thought it would ever get this bad at our school. He couldn't handle it so he brought a gun to school. There I was standing in the hallway and he was pointing a gun at me. You were behind me, you grabbed my arm trying to get me to move but I was frozen as soon as we moved he yelled at us. We turned around to face him again. He started talking but I don't know what he was saying I wasn't listening to him to distracted by the gun that was in his hand. You stepped in front of me when he pointed the gun at me. Something that I will never forget. You wrestled with him to get the gun I watched through blurry vision trying to fight the tears away. Then I heard it I shut my eyes at the noise the gun went off. I quickly opened my eyes, you were lying on the floor with him both of you didn't move then all I remember is being walked to a room with Toby. I was looking for you , I needed to see you make sure you were ok.

I saw my mom and Snake they both gave me hugs I sat next to my mom I kept asking for you where were you . I don't remember if I saw you right when you entered the room but I did see you after a moment and I ran. I ran to you , tears were streaming down my face as I fought out of my mother's grasp, I ran to where you were on the other side of the room. I got to you tears were still coming and even faster than before. You just looking at me in your eyes I saw something I thought I would never see there fear, it was still there. I launched myself in to your arms, you slid your arms around my trembling body. I lost it completely everything caught up with me right then in your arms. I felt so safe in your arms you stood there and held me close to you knowing I needed someone to hold me. I could feel drops on my neck and then I realized you were crying too.. I was shaking from both fear and shock of the whole situation you didn't care you held me closer. We were so close, and I need to feel someone next to me to know I wasn't alone , you were there. As you pulled me as close as I could get to you ,I realized that you wanted to protect me and take away my pain. . You whispered in my ear " Em its ok ".

That's when I realized I needed you back in my life you hadn't called me Em in a long time and I had missed it. I thought I had moved on but I didn't you were always in the depths of my heart. I realized that only now that it was only a matter of time before our paths would cross again. I needed you and you were there. I don't know how long we stayed in each other's arms but I remember Mr. Radditch came in to get us to talk to the police and I remember you telling him not now. I forgot that my mom and Snake were in the room with us. I ended up sitting on your lap finally calming down and I had my head on your chest listening to your heart beat. I don't remember when I went home but as I got up and was gonna go home you stood up next to me and pulled me close one more time you kissed my cheek ever so gently as if I would break I rested my head against your cheek and you kissed my forehead ran your hands up and down my back and we finally broke apart.

I left and went home and trying to fall asleep but I couldn't erase the images from the day so I lied awake in my bed thinking of you remembering how good it felt to be in you arms again. I went upstairs to get a glass of water to return to find you in my room. You used the window to get in and I was relieved to see you. I went straight for your arms again after we broke the hug , we sat on my bed you kicked off your shoes. You started to ramble I knew something was wrong. I asked you and you said " Me and Ellie had a fight She tried to get me to talk. She said she understood and wanted to be there for me. But I don't want to talk to her, she doesn't understand, she wasn't there with me. I want to talk to you. I want you not her." I was shocked and speechless. You suddenly realizes that I am in my pajamas and ask if you should go. I quickly say no I really couldn't fall asleep anyway. You sits next to me on my bed and I was waiting for you to say something but it never came it was pure silence between the two of us. It was a comforting silence it wasn't awkward or uneasy just a comfortable silence .

I laid down and you followed my lead and laid next to me. You know that I am tired by the look I am giving you but I can't fall asleep because of everything that had happened that day. You look at me and with out even having to ask you move closer and put your arms around me . You know that I will have nightmares just like I know that you will too. I am glad that you won't be alone when you wake up and I am glad that I won't be alone when the nightmares become to real and I finally wake up. You spoon me against your chest your arms are wrapped around my body making me feel safe, secure, and loved. Later, I wake up trembling from my nightmare and you are there. You wake up kiss my forehead, whisper soothing words into my ear. You shower my face with little soothing kisses. You pull my shaking body so close trying to comfort me. You do comfort me and you hold me in your arms until I drift back to sleep . We wake up togther from the sun entering the window , the same one you used to come in my room last night. You say you should leave because the last thing we need now is to have my mom or Snake find us in bed togther even if we are fully clothed. You lightly kiss the corner of my lips a small but meaningful kiss we both know it . You said to call you later, you gave me a hug and then left. I never called though, I was to afraid what Ellie would think or say about it. But you called me then next day. We talked for hours and then said our goodnights knowing that we would see each other in our nightmares.

plz review and give me some pointers, i'll update soon


	2. Chap 2

Chapter 2

We went back to school on Monday. I saw you walking in with Ellie , I saw that look in your eye of fear and nervousness. We both made eye contact and it provided us with some comfort to enter the building and start the day. This day we knew would be one of the longest days with the therapy sessions , grief counseling but we both needed it. I secretly hoped we would be in the same room for the most of the day. Because even just your presence around me calmed me down. They let us choose which therapy group we wanted to attend. I chose a circle therapy group . I saw you and Ellie sitting there, I was happy and upset all at the same time. There was an empty seat next to you and I slid into it, I fought the urge to go to your arms. We made eye contact again and you could see right through me into all of the conflict that was going on within me. I wanted to leave and not deal with this but at the same time I wanted to be there. As the session began I spaced out thinking back to that moment when you stepped in front of me and out yourself between the gun and me. I wanted nothing more than to curl up in my bed next to you and just forget everything that has happened in the past couple of days. I snapped out of my trace when I saw you storm out of the room. I wanted to follow you and comfort you but Ellie got up and followed so I decided to talk to you later.

I walked aimlessly around school feeling rather lost. Some people were staring that didn't bother me too much but when a girl came up to me and started to question me I snapped. I didn't even know her name but she came and asked me all sorts of personal stuff. I ran to Snake's room as soon as I entered the door I started to ramble. I didn't even notice you were there until we made eye contact. I lost it completely again and walked over into your embrace. Only then did it really seem to hit me that you saved my life and that you protected me. You barely wrap your arms around me I was lost. Why now did you seem to only pull away from me ? I was now scared you didn't hug me back but placed your hands on my hips to push me away. I wasn't ready for that this only made my world seem to crumble more. I whispered to you "Sean please don't push me away, I need you " your eyes caught mine they were glazed with tears too. You started to walk away but when I barely touched your arm to stop you , you turned around and wrapped your arms around me, I was shaking against your body . Snake had left and shut the door at some point I still to this day can't remember when exactly he left because I was so wrapped up in you at that moment. We slid down on to the floor you held me as I cried and tried to regain my composure. We got up and left I didn't see you until later by Jay's car. You asked me if I was coming with you and I realized I needed to for the both of us.

Author's Note : I am sorry I left you hanging... I have alot of stuff to do. I'll update soon. I am still trying to iron out some details in the plot.

I took a little creative license with the episode

Thanks for all of the reviews that were submitted they were greatly appreciated


	3. Chap 3

Chapter 3

I needed to go with you for many reasons but I only did it for one ... you. As I climbed in the back of Jay's car I sat next to Ellie, we didn't really talk to each other at first but we warmed up and relaxed after that. I didn't want to really talk to anyone because I was focused on you. You were so quiet and I could see your knuckles turning white from gripping the steering wheel extremely hard. Then you started talking to Jay and though it seemed like you had relaxed you didn't and I could tell. I was quiet in the back seat just listening to your voice it was low and it gave me a sense of security just knowing that you were around. It still does to this day, I love listening to your voice. I focused on you the whole ride to your parents house. As we pulled up in the driveway I could see you tense up again. I saw the entire thing from the safety of the car. I knew that you were extremely upset about it. As you returned to the car you got in and we all followed. You just started to drive none of us knew where you were going, I was puzzled I was trying to think of where you would take us. We ended up at the Beach.

We got out of the car and went straight to the sand and played for a while. I loved the feeling of the sand on my skin it was warm and soothing. We were all enjoying our selves goofing off and just having fun with each other. But the happiness was short lived...

Your past caught up with you and none of us were ready for that neither were you. You stormed off after you had yelled walking close to the water's edge and Ellie followed you. I stood there watching the two of you talking. Jay was standing next to me trying to get my attention but I didn't even acknowledge him talking to me. I was focused on you , the way you were standing and how you were reacting to what Ellie was saying to you. I watched as Ellie started to confront you about the shooting. Your body tensed, your face got red and I could tell you were about to loose it. You weren't ready to talk about what you were feeling with her yet you started talking anyway. I was completely focused on you in those few crucial moments. I watched you head into the water... I knew it wouldn't end well.

I grabbed Jay's arm and told him to follow me as I headed down towards the water. I watched you as your body went under the water and then I panicked when you didn't come back to the surface. My heart stopped in that moment, as I watched Tyler go into the water to get you I didn't move until he was bringing you out of the water. I ran down to where you were laying on the sand, I knelt down next to you and rubbed your side to try to get you to open your eyes. All I kept saying was "Sean, wake up , Sean". I was so glad when you opened your eyes. I stayed next to you for a couple of minutes but Ellie wanted to be close to you so I got up and backed away from you. My heart ached as she took the exact place where I kneeling only a few minutes before, I felt like I was replaced and you didn't need me anymore.

I was shaken...I had freaked when I didn't see you come up for air, I knew at that point something was very wrong. I had to remind myself at least three times that you were alive, breathing , and ok for the moment. My hands were shaking and I jumped when Jay touched my shoulder. He squeezed my shoulder to reassure me. I was glad for the first time in my life that Jay was around I turned around and spoke to him through my eyes I said "Thank you". He said "Your welcome, Nature girl." And that was that Jay's moment of friendship to me and I was extremely grateful for that.

We met back up with you and Ellie. She walked back to the car and Jay disappeared magically. I walked over and sat down on the towel you followed me wasn't expecting you to follow but you did. You started to talk to me I was listening intently and then you apologized for everything that had happened between us over the past year or so. I was surprised then again I wasn't , I accepted your apology and told you it was Ancient history.

We had a moment just us locking our eyes together and see deeply into each other's very souls we knew that in that moment no matter what would happen with us that we would always have a connection. As we got up, we knew that it was time to venture back into reality but you grabbed my hand to help me get up. A small but an amazingly powerful little gesture. That reassured me in so many ways to this day.

As we all piled back into the car I knew with out asking where we were going. You had to see your parents again. I knew that no matter what though that we would always stay in touch. As you disappeared back into your house's back porch that you were finally dealing with your demons. I watched you walk out from you house I knew everything was about to change just by the look in your eye. When you said you were staying my heart broke and was happy for you all in that moment. I watched to talk with Jay and with Ellie. I didn't know if I should talk to you then or wait until later. I walked up gave you a hug and whispered in your ear " I will always be here for you Sean and my window is always open." You looked right into my eyes I knew you understood what I mean you gently kissed my forehead and said as you were backing away from me " I'll be in touch Em." As I got into the car I saw the tears that were trailing down your cheeks and I wanted to help you so bad but I just watched you. I knew I would see you again really soon. So I thought in that moment that I could live with that for the time being I would have to...

Well I finally updated ... life had gotten in the way of my writing. I am kinda still deciding what to do next so it could take awhile before my next update or i might end it here. I have some other ideas to attend to at the very moment so I'll focus on this after I write some other stuff... who knows my inspiration might spark again to continue or finish...


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